Psychiatrists and counselors Therapists and 'Peers' Seem to look on us as curs Living off our fears
They see when our depression's gone And we're talking with a friend Not realizing that our switch is "On" And our smile is all pretend
We show our teeth and twinkle eyes In lobbies or waiting rooms That's where the VA has their spies Ready to drop the booms
They say "You're cured! We saw you laugh!" Our denials then are spurred From every VA staff
They don't know we have a switch We turn daily "on" for friends But in sessions and at home we twitch And our depression never ends
We flip a switch so no one sees The pain we really have It's all an act for our friends to please Kind of like a calming salve
We turn "On" so we don't flip A switch that's deep within That one will take us on a trip Of where we’ve seen and been
We turn "On" and smile and wave Shake hands with all we see But deep inside in our dark cave There lurks the enemy
It waits until our switch is 'Off"ed Till beaten down we lay Exhausted by the smiles we doffed Then attacks like we're a prey
It beats us down and wears us out As we lay there in our beds But that's not seen by those with "clout" Who prescribe us all our meds
They only see the switch that's "On" In our public face we show Not realizing that our pain has gone To a place we dare not go
So don't believe our smile and grin It's just a switch we flip To avoid remembering where we've been Please Don't take away our 'scrip
The problem is: the pain never ends, the cycle never stops. The fears, the sadness, being alone, and why, why me? The manifestations of darkness have become one with my mind. There is no rest because there is no time. There are never enough apologies for my own redemptions. My soul is never rewarded with the answers I need to be allowed to breathe.
Without this, we are nothing, so please, love, and we shall be everything